Tuesday, June 30, 2015

The Universal Symbol for Attachment-Base Parental Alienation

The Universal Symbol for Attachment Based parental alienation.


Green is the color for mental illness.  Mental illness begins as a consequence of early attachment trauma that the “other” parent experienced.  This coalesced into a personality disorder during his or her developmental ages.   Eventually mental illness affects every member of the family because the disturbed parent’s illness creates a distorted, frightening, and intensely chaotic environment. In addition, the disturbed parent knows that their actions would come under scrutiny if anyone else found out so the family is expected to follow strict rules about “keeping the elephant in the room.”  Over time, each family member become so emotionally abused and confused that they adjust to the mandates of personality-disordered parent by responding erratically, inappropriately and in particular insensitively to each other.  These distorted interactions contribute to emotional instability of the family members. 

Divorce is intolerable for personality disordered parents and they react intensely and abusively.  In particular, the disturbed parent begins to think that the targeted parent is abusive and becomes obsessed with destroying the relationship between the children and the other parent.  He or she becomes “targeted” for “rejection.”  The personality-disordered parent uses their distorted communication to induce the child to suppress their attachment and believe that their grief is really anger and hatred for the targeted parent.  In particular, the disturbed parent begins to think that the targeted parent is abusive and becomes obsessed with destroying the relationship between the children and the other parent.  He or she becomes “targeted” for “rejection.”  The personality disordered parent uses their distorted communication to induce the child to suppress their attachment and believe that their grief is really anger and hatred for the targeted parent.

Purple represents the domestic violence.  Attachment-Based parental alienation is a severe form of intimidate partner violence in four ways.    First the personality disordered parent creates an environment that conditions the targeted parent not to trust his or her emotional responses to family experiences (crazy-making).  Second, witnessing the damage to his or her children’s cognitive, emotional, and behavioral capabilities traumatizes the targeted parent.  Third, the targeted parent loses the loving relationship with their children without understanding, support or compassion from even those who are closest to them causing debilitating and unending complex grief.  The targeted parent is traumatized for a fourth time when the disturbed parent exploits a child into accepting the role of the narcissistic supply and/or is used as the primary weapon to continue to abuse the targeted parent.  As a result of these long-term, ongoing, traumatic experiences, the targeted parent is at extreme risk for developing depression, anxiety, and PTSD, among other ailments.


Blue represents child abuse.  Attachment-based parental alienation is severe child maltreatment including emotional abuse and neglect. In addition to the invalidating environment and witnessing domestic abuse, the child is directly exploited by the personality disordered  parent.  He or she violates generational boundaries, disregards the emotional needs of their child and manipulates the children’s thoughts and feelings to conform to their delusions and desires.  Furthermore, mentally disturbed parents believe that it is the child’s responsibility to take care of them and exploit their power and control by forcing the child to accept the role of the narcissistic object or supply(role-reversal).  All types of child abuse significantly interfere with the child’s healthy development, leading to lifelong problems in most domains.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Book Review: Attachment-based Parental Alienation

Attachment-based Parental Alienation: Foundations
By Dr. Craig Childress (2015)

This book brilliantly describes one of our country's most severe and widespread public health issues. I've stood by helplessly for 10 years watching it destroy children and parents. Childress puts the scientific pieces together of this clinical phenomenon traditionally called "parental alienation." And leads the mental health and legal professional to an immediate solution. A literal bible for family's struggling with the predictable and preventable tragedy of how Narcissistic/borderline personality disordered people think, feel, and relate to their partners and children. A MUST read for anyone in the fields of high conflict divorce, borderline/narcissistic personality disorder, attachment trauma, CPS, Family Court, ALL mental health and pediatric practitioners especially Family and Marriage Therapy and parenting, domestic violence and child maltreatment etc. Buy an extra and give it to someone else who needs it, the list is endless.

Kay